Unconditional love.....
March 14th, 2013 3:00 am
Dear Father,
I am sitting in the waiting area of the emergency room of an Arizona hospital. I am waiting to hear from the physician who is working on Bane to come out and tell us how she is doing. While I wait, I will catch you up on how we got here.
Yesterday.... that is... on the 12th, I found Mantis to tell him what I knew about Bane's difficulty. I didn't have to. He knew the problem as well. He told me that there was a government facility in Arizona, long abandoned, that we may be able to use to find Bane. We quickly made our way to the co-ordinates Mantis had for the bunker.
When we got there we quickly explored the underground building and found mechanical devices which reminded us of Nomad's Nevada cave. Unfortunately the engines which powered the system were frozen in place. Years of being ignored and having no oil made the engines inoperable (well, if I had 3 weeks and a crew of workers, I could get them running again, but time was of the essence).
Mantis went back in to town to start calling around to get a pair of engines to replace the ones we had, and I started working on making the rest of the system functioning. As I got more light in the room and cleaned off inches of dust, I noticed control panel with a series of wheels between a series of boxes with numbers in it which looked something like:
[0]|[0]|[0]|.[0]|[0]|[0]|[0]|[0]|
Instinctively I began to spin the wheels for each of the numbers and before I realized what I was doing the panel looked like this:
[3]|[0]|[5]|.[7]|[2]|[3]|[6]|[5]|
When I saw what I had dialed, I knew I was right. I sent a mental "thank you" to Dr Fate, and continued to get the room up and functioning. I found some smaller engines which were working and was able to use them to get the power system up and running for the room so that I could get lights and some of the ancient computers running. I worked all night and about mid-day the next day, I heard a very loud engine nearing the building. I went outside and saw Mantis get out of a very large 16 wheeler that was carrying the two engines we were after. I don't know where he got them or how he got them here that fast, but it didn't matter. We moved the engines into the facility and got everything attached. He asked me if I knew where we were going and I told him that I got directions from a very dependable source. Our destination was plugged in to the machine and the engines are running. At that moment, Zephyr, Mr Mystico, and Green Lantern showed up, stating that they had heard that we had found Bane and were here to help us get to her.
Mystico took over the controls of the portal (I made sure that he knew he was not to touch the numbers I had set into the system because I knew that they were correct). The rest of us went to the arch and when the system was cranked up, we jumped in. We landed in snow -- hard snow. My layers of fur were helping me, but I still felt the cold suck the heat from my body. I started sniffing for Bane, and when I picked up the trail, I started moving forward. The others followed me. As I continued to follow Bane's smell, I noticed a number of other smells. I smelled Nomad. I smelled a number of his followers. I smelled The Joker. But they were all long gone. The other smell I got was of a creature that was not gone, and was advancing the same direction we were. The only thing I could call this smell is dire wolf. I have never smelled a dire, but what I smelled, though wolf like, was not wolf. And from the strength of the smell I was getting, I could tell these creatures where large. That odor added speed to my stride. I knew I had to get to Bane before they did.
Bane is stable. They have moved her to a private room, but want to keep an eye on her and have asked us to stay out of the room and out of the way of the attendants. I glanced in when one of the nurses entered the room and could see that her skin had far less blue in the color and her breathing was calmer.
Back to the story. In the distance, I spotted what I guess would be best described as rookie igloo. Bane was in there, and there was not much room, and any attempts to remove the ceiling to get to Bane would put her in great danger of being crushed by the collapsing walls. I informed the other AFers and told them that, because I was the only one here protected from the cold by something other than artificial body armor, my body heat is what she is going to need. I told them to give me time to get in there and cover her up and get her warm before they took the roof off.
GL encircled us in a sphere of green power, which cut off our smell from the wolves. They could smell remnants, but they would assume that we have escaped. I crawled throw the "igloo" entry and moved next to Bane. She was mildly delirious and told me that I was not real. I was a hallucination. I told her that I was very real and I moved her very close to me to begin to transfer my body heat to her. I held her and positioned myself to protect her from collapse. I told the rest to start moving the ice. There were a few close calls, but I deflected each of the chunks of ice as it fell toward Bane. When they finished digging us out, Green Lantern lifted his globe off the ground and flew us back to the position we needed to be in when Mystico opened the gate again. We had to wait a bit (he was told to open the gate every hour on the hour and we got to the position 15 minutes early). The moment we got through the gate, we rushed Bane to the hospital. The attendants were a little confused, but we explained that Bane had been mountain climbing, it was February, the Rockies are high in elevation....
Now I sit here. I know she is safe. She is alive. Doctors are attending to her wounds. But I worry about her. I just passed the cracker machine and I could see myself in the glass. The look on my face sent me into a flashback. I saw you in my eyes and the look on my face reminded me of your face when we had that discussion when I was 13 -- when you asked me to stay in human form permanently. You were not mad at me. You were not mad at the wolf in me. I knew you still loved me unconditionally. You were just concerned that the wolf would take over the child. And I am worried that Bane, who just spent 4 days on the seventh layer of Hell, will need a parent to support her through the emotions of her experience. But she has none. I know I cannot offer myself to be her father, but I can offer her unconditional love and hope that she will accept it at face value.
The only problem is that I don't know how. Every time my logic mind tells me to talk to her about this, my emotional mind screams, "NO.... you can't... if you try to push this, you will scare her off. She will assume you are trying to bed her, but you know that you are just trying to offer her assistance.... a shoulder.... an ear... and nothing more. You have to wait for her to come to you. If you start the conversation, it will be over before the first sentence is finished."
Love,
James
Dear Father,
I am sitting in the waiting area of the emergency room of an Arizona hospital. I am waiting to hear from the physician who is working on Bane to come out and tell us how she is doing. While I wait, I will catch you up on how we got here.
Yesterday.... that is... on the 12th, I found Mantis to tell him what I knew about Bane's difficulty. I didn't have to. He knew the problem as well. He told me that there was a government facility in Arizona, long abandoned, that we may be able to use to find Bane. We quickly made our way to the co-ordinates Mantis had for the bunker.
When we got there we quickly explored the underground building and found mechanical devices which reminded us of Nomad's Nevada cave. Unfortunately the engines which powered the system were frozen in place. Years of being ignored and having no oil made the engines inoperable (well, if I had 3 weeks and a crew of workers, I could get them running again, but time was of the essence).
Mantis went back in to town to start calling around to get a pair of engines to replace the ones we had, and I started working on making the rest of the system functioning. As I got more light in the room and cleaned off inches of dust, I noticed control panel with a series of wheels between a series of boxes with numbers in it which looked something like:
[0]|[0]|[0]|.[0]|[0]|[0]|[0]|[0]|
Instinctively I began to spin the wheels for each of the numbers and before I realized what I was doing the panel looked like this:
[3]|[0]|[5]|.[7]|[2]|[3]|[6]|[5]|
When I saw what I had dialed, I knew I was right. I sent a mental "thank you" to Dr Fate, and continued to get the room up and functioning. I found some smaller engines which were working and was able to use them to get the power system up and running for the room so that I could get lights and some of the ancient computers running. I worked all night and about mid-day the next day, I heard a very loud engine nearing the building. I went outside and saw Mantis get out of a very large 16 wheeler that was carrying the two engines we were after. I don't know where he got them or how he got them here that fast, but it didn't matter. We moved the engines into the facility and got everything attached. He asked me if I knew where we were going and I told him that I got directions from a very dependable source. Our destination was plugged in to the machine and the engines are running. At that moment, Zephyr, Mr Mystico, and Green Lantern showed up, stating that they had heard that we had found Bane and were here to help us get to her.
Mystico took over the controls of the portal (I made sure that he knew he was not to touch the numbers I had set into the system because I knew that they were correct). The rest of us went to the arch and when the system was cranked up, we jumped in. We landed in snow -- hard snow. My layers of fur were helping me, but I still felt the cold suck the heat from my body. I started sniffing for Bane, and when I picked up the trail, I started moving forward. The others followed me. As I continued to follow Bane's smell, I noticed a number of other smells. I smelled Nomad. I smelled a number of his followers. I smelled The Joker. But they were all long gone. The other smell I got was of a creature that was not gone, and was advancing the same direction we were. The only thing I could call this smell is dire wolf. I have never smelled a dire, but what I smelled, though wolf like, was not wolf. And from the strength of the smell I was getting, I could tell these creatures where large. That odor added speed to my stride. I knew I had to get to Bane before they did.
Bane is stable. They have moved her to a private room, but want to keep an eye on her and have asked us to stay out of the room and out of the way of the attendants. I glanced in when one of the nurses entered the room and could see that her skin had far less blue in the color and her breathing was calmer.
Back to the story. In the distance, I spotted what I guess would be best described as rookie igloo. Bane was in there, and there was not much room, and any attempts to remove the ceiling to get to Bane would put her in great danger of being crushed by the collapsing walls. I informed the other AFers and told them that, because I was the only one here protected from the cold by something other than artificial body armor, my body heat is what she is going to need. I told them to give me time to get in there and cover her up and get her warm before they took the roof off.
GL encircled us in a sphere of green power, which cut off our smell from the wolves. They could smell remnants, but they would assume that we have escaped. I crawled throw the "igloo" entry and moved next to Bane. She was mildly delirious and told me that I was not real. I was a hallucination. I told her that I was very real and I moved her very close to me to begin to transfer my body heat to her. I held her and positioned myself to protect her from collapse. I told the rest to start moving the ice. There were a few close calls, but I deflected each of the chunks of ice as it fell toward Bane. When they finished digging us out, Green Lantern lifted his globe off the ground and flew us back to the position we needed to be in when Mystico opened the gate again. We had to wait a bit (he was told to open the gate every hour on the hour and we got to the position 15 minutes early). The moment we got through the gate, we rushed Bane to the hospital. The attendants were a little confused, but we explained that Bane had been mountain climbing, it was February, the Rockies are high in elevation....
Now I sit here. I know she is safe. She is alive. Doctors are attending to her wounds. But I worry about her. I just passed the cracker machine and I could see myself in the glass. The look on my face sent me into a flashback. I saw you in my eyes and the look on my face reminded me of your face when we had that discussion when I was 13 -- when you asked me to stay in human form permanently. You were not mad at me. You were not mad at the wolf in me. I knew you still loved me unconditionally. You were just concerned that the wolf would take over the child. And I am worried that Bane, who just spent 4 days on the seventh layer of Hell, will need a parent to support her through the emotions of her experience. But she has none. I know I cannot offer myself to be her father, but I can offer her unconditional love and hope that she will accept it at face value.
The only problem is that I don't know how. Every time my logic mind tells me to talk to her about this, my emotional mind screams, "NO.... you can't... if you try to push this, you will scare her off. She will assume you are trying to bed her, but you know that you are just trying to offer her assistance.... a shoulder.... an ear... and nothing more. You have to wait for her to come to you. If you start the conversation, it will be over before the first sentence is finished."
Love,
James
posted by GreyWolf at 9:12 PM
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